Mummy, why did you get up so early to go for a run in the dark?
Mummy, why do you climb so high?”
So many questions…. So few answers…
To my beautiful children.
Even before you could talk, I could read these questions in your wide eyes. Then, as soon as you started articulating some words, the questions started flowing. Now you believe my crazy active lifestyle is the norm. The everyday questions have become more factual and have transformed into “Mummy, what sport did you do today?”. However, I can still read in your eyes a desire to understand the “why?”.
The truth is, my dearest little ones, Mummy doesn’t know the answers to most of these innocent but deep questions. Why? Why get out of my warm and comfortable bed to go for a run in the dark and the cold? Why? A simple word for you to say. A very difficult question for Mummy to answer? I’m sorry I haven’t come up with a suitable answer yet, I owe you an explanation my precious little bears.
What I do know, is where my inspiration is coming from. From each one of you. YOU are my source of inspiration. And when the going gets tough in a running race or a hard climb, when I feel like I can’t take another step, when my body is shutting down of exhaustion, I remember my words to you “Always follow your passion, try your best and never give up”. With this in mind and with the image of your little faces waiting for me at the finish line, I find the strength to dig deep. I have to carry on. I simply cannot quit, I simply cannot surrender, for you.
And when the finish line finally comes, it is our special moment I cherish the most. When you are there at the finish, your little bodies jumping up and down with impatience, cheering me on, waiting for Mummy to cross the line. And even though my battered body is so weak and I can barely stand up, I am waiting anxiously for the moment when the three of you will run to me and squeeze your little arms around me. Somehow, instead of collapsing, I find the strength to kneel down to you and cuddle you, my precious little ones. That is the ultimate moment of happiness for your Mummy.
And on the rare occasions I’ve made it to the podium, you were so excited and followed me onto the podium, beaming with pride for your Mummy. Hard to control the tears…
The inspiration definitely comes from you. How could I not be inspired by you, my beautiful children?
Jamie, my sensible and sensitive little bear, I see the sparkle and the fire in your eyes when you are on the football pitch. Not a sport I understand much about, but I watch you and I am so happy you have found a passion. You begged me to sign you up for football camp last summer. I cannot believe you can be so passionate, focused and motivated at the young age of 6. Your friends and coaches are calling you “the Little Messi”. A nickname well deserved. We are all so proud of you.
Alex, my sweet and clever little bear, you are so determined and strong. At the age of 4, you consistently and persistently put all your will in everything you attempt. Already, I can’t return your killer serve at tennis! And how you ran your little heart out at the Mile Race last month, all on your own, never looking back to wait for the rest of us. A very proud Mummy and a little champion in the making.
Finally, Bella, my youngest and smart little bear, the most determined of all. You are constantly trying to keep up with your two older brothers. Not an easy feat but you take on the challenge daily without thinking twice. You are so strong, you have so much energy and courage.
How could I not be inspired by such an amazing family? I have the best constantly growing, changing and replenishing source of inspiration. I admire how you embrace life each and every day, and how you come jumping on our bed every morning with anticipation and excitement for the new day to come. You never fail to amaze me. Finally, my little ones, you know how lucky we are to have Daddy with us! Be kind to him, my little bears, when sometimes in the morning he offers to get you ready for school so I can go for a swim. He tries his very best at remembering which coloured cereal bowl you each prefer and what you each like on your toast. Be patient if you end up at school with unmatched socks and the wrong size clothes, these things don’t really matter in life. And Bella, Daddy even manages to put hair clips in your hair. He is trying is best (as we always say!) to allow Mummy to follow her passion. He loves you dearly, my little bears. None of this would be possible without his support and his love. I am so thankful for him, and for you. Your Mummy feels like the luckiest athlete out there!
Perhaps, one day, when you grow up, you will understand my passion, all the hours of training and the sacrifices. And perhaps one day I will be able to provide you with a more suitable answer to your questions.
Inspired by the beautifully written article from Leon Lutz, I have put down, in my broken English, some of my emotions on following my passion for sport whilst raising you, my three precious little children.